Adoption?

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I am so conflicted when it comes to adoption. Will my family be able to love a baby that is biologically not ours? Will my husband? Will I? Will be be able to get a baby? We can’t handle adopting an older child. We simply dont have the psychological skill. But the process here is so time consuming – it takes almost 2 years here. And by then the baby selected for us is 2 years old and has spent that time in an orphanage. There are a few other options here. There is no open adoption adn there are no adoption agencies. Adoption is not a socially accepted thing in this society. It is done quietly and almost shamefully. The only way to get a baby quickly here is to find a pregnant woman who wants to give up her baby and have her give it to you and then you file for the child to be formally adopted. But that is so fraught with danger – mostly that she will change her mind after you have bonded with the baby.

sometimes it seems so unfair that in order to adopt we have to be scrutinised and have complete strangers determine if we are worthy to be parents. But any 12 year old drug addicted child is allowed to get pregnant and become a parent – no homestudy required! sigh. I am just so frustrated some days.

Some days I feel a sense of peace at the idea of giving up the pursuit of this desire to be a mommy. And some days I firmly believe that God has some really great plan for us and we will turn up the parents of triplets or something amazing like that. I want to believe that the IVF will be wildly successful and we will end up with enough grade A embryos to freeze for our next pregnancy. And that we will end up with twins this go around. That somehow God will validate our suffering and make it all worthwhile in some obvious display of fecundity and patronage. What makes me believe this when so far it has not happened is beyond me. Where does this unending well-spring of hope come from? I don’t know. I guess I just believe that God is good and that He would not let us suffer like this for no reason and without some papable reward. I have to believe this if I am to go on.

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This entry was posted on Saturday, January 23rd, 2010 at 9:30 pm and is filed under Fertility . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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